Death Rays

This is a Death Ray.

Pretty  intense, right? I thought so too. They claim it was an accident, but I feel as though somebody had to have considered the possibility of this happening. It's all part of their master plan. To do what? I sure as heck don't know. But they're doing it.

Speaking of Death Rays, I haven't heard from Marvin the Martian in a long time. It seems like kids have lost their taste for good old fashioned, mindless slapstick comedy. Instead of teaching our youngin's to have pent up rage and needless aggression towards others, inevitably resulting in ultimate hilarity, we are telling them to worry about who likes who and what she said about him. What happened to the beauty of a good mid air epiphany before falling into a valley of death, then respawn? Instead, I find my eyes and ears assaulted with the latest trends and styles. I just don't get it. Once upon a time, characters like Tweety (I was so mad when I discovered he was a boy) and Jerry (of Tom and Jerry) were my heroes. Now they all waste their lives making googley eyes at their favorite actor, often 20-30 years older. That, my friend, is sick.

Maybe we should make a Death Ray to destroy modern television so that we're forced to reevaluate our goals and have to build from the golden years up. It's a thought.