For the last few days, I have been so blissfully happy I don't even have the words to fully explain it. It's a magical blend of peace, this irritating joy that radiates from my chest and a smile that never seems to leave my face. I'm not used to this. And because of that, I'm subconsciously trying to ruin it for myself. How stupid.
I start wondering: Do I deserve this? Is this really supposed to happen to me, or are the fates just playing a game with my head?
Then it moves beyond questions to a depressing sort of certainty. I worry about the future. About what this will bring. The consequences for myself and for others. Until I can't even contain the single bit of moisture that bubbles over the ledge of my eyelid and strolls boldly down my cheek. It's stupid and I know it, but so am I.
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Anyways, I suppose I should write something else creative soon. Maybe it would help my mood, haha. friend of mine once challenged himself to write something happy and soft and touchy feely. I don't know how well I'd do with that, but it's worth a try. Not right now, though. Too much non-mushy things going on around me. Something to think on.
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